Contemporary essays, fiction, and opinion offered regularly by author Anne Brandt.






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Locker Logic
Posted: 08/15/08
If you belong to a health club, have you ever noticed how lockers are dispensed? Usually you check in with an attendant somewhere to obtain a key or a number or some indicator of what locker is yours that day.

I’m fine with this, except that I’ve come to the conclusion the attendants are never allowed in the locker room. Otherwise -- and this has happened at every health club I’ve visited -- why would they give one guest a certain locker and the very next guest the locker beside it? Even when there are only two or three people using the locker room, we are stacked up like planes waiting to land at O’Hare.

There are approximately 160 lockers in the women’s locker room. They all have different numbers, so wouldn’t logic dictate that if the key to one locker is missing, then it would be a good idea to give the next guest a locker that is several numbers down or even across the room?

I understand there are times when it’s crowded. I understand some people have a favorite locker and request it. I understand this is really picking nits. But if I were an attendant, I’d sneak into the locker room and figure it out. It would make life easier for everyone, because I’ve also seen guests return their keys at the end of their workouts and grumble.

Is there a rocket scientist or a brain surgeon out there who can solve this?


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