Contemporary essays, fiction, and opinion offered regularly by author Anne Brandt.






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Tanning
Posted: 12/09/05
Four weeks from today Earl and I head south; and I mean really south, as in the Caribbean and Venezuela. We’re taking our annual get-away-from-winter-for-ten-days cruise. So today we started our tanning regimen.

Now I know all the caveats and bewares about tanning; but at the same time, there are just as many about being in the sun too long and getting burned. And getting burned on a cruise is definitely not a fun thing. You want to be outside in the warm tropical weather without looking like Louie and Lisa Lobster when you put on your formal wear for dinner with the ship’s captain. I know; I’ve been there. In addition, you’re much closer to the equator in the Caribbean, and the sun is hotter there. Things burn faster.

We usually try to tan a few times before we leave home, even though I personally think it’s a lot of work. You must drive to the tanning salon where you enter one of the tanning rooms. Each room has a tanning bed (either vertical or horizontal, depending on your preference), hooks for your clothes, a chair, protective eyewear and a towel.

Obviously, it’s difficult to tan with your winter coat, mittens, and boots on; in fact, it’s difficult to tan well with anything on at all. So all your clothing comes off before you climb (figuratively) into the bed. At first, it’s a good idea to tan for mere minutes, especially if you’re fair skinned like I am. Today I stayed under the lights for only five minutes. It was hardly enough time to snooze. Then I redressed for returning to the cold reality outside.

That’s one thing about tanning in winter. The actual tanning time is the least of it; it’s all the other preparations that are tedious. But I just keep that Lisa Lobster image in my mind and know it won’t apply to me this year.


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